Where the Green Grass Grows

I’ve had, quite literally, months to contemplate this post.  You might not have wondered at my absence from the blog (since it seems to happen fairly often!) but I was back in a place where the biggest thing on my mind was not something I could share – which for me is a recipe for writer’s block.  But things are so close now and I see no reason to keep mum any longer – I have fulfilled the promise that kept me silent and now I reclaim my right to share our news. 

We’re moving to Arkansas.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

More than a year ago now I was trying to convince my husband that we should leave OKC.  I wanted to be somewhere… greener.  Somewhere where being outside could be more natural for us, a part of our lives rather than something we had to work at.  My initial desire was Seattle – most of you probably know that the Emerald City has a strong pull on my heart.  But my Oklahoma born-and-bred husband just could not wrap his mind around the incredible distance from all that he has always known.

We were having one of about a hundred conversations about this dilemma last year on our way back from Christmas at my parent’s Arkansas lakehouse when Colin dropped an idea into the mix that, until then, we had never considered.  We love visits to my parent’s house – we walk under the trees, throw rocks in the lake and (attempt to) help my dad with the cows.  As Grady has grown over the past year, we have watched him love it too – days filled with rosy cheeks, puppy kisses and lots of time in the sun.

So really, in hindsight, it wasn’t a huge leap when Colin posed the question – “What about Arkansas?” even if it had not occurred to us before.  We spent the better part of 2012 considering the question, pondering the what and why and how and then came a moment of peace and then complete clarity – a moment where we looked at each other with that smile we both know, and the decision was made.

This is about so much more than location – it’s not just trading in Oklahoma City for Northwest Arkansas.  It’s about a lifestyle shift.  We’re going to try something that, quite frankly, I would not have foreseen in our future when I first realized I was going to marry a man raised on a country club golf course.  We’re going back to MY roots, to where I spent my summers and where I developed my love of quiet spaces.  We’re going to the country.

I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am for this next phase of our lives.  As we’ve started to really begin to develop what this dream might look like, opportunities we would never have imagined have come our way.   That moment of clarity I mentioned?  It happened on a crisp, beautiful November day as we stood in the middle of the plot of land my parents are giving us for our new home.  A piece of what they call the East Farm, it’s the perfect place for a house – near the end of a country road with a wide open space edged by trees on one side and a gravel lane on the other.  We had talked about renting for a while longer after the move to save up money for acreage and then here it was – all that we had hoped to have, offered up as an incredibly precious gift.  The perfect place to raise our son.

The tricky part about announcing this to those of you who will read it here has been work.  We told our respective firms in early January that we intended to leave OKC by the end of April 2013.  We were asked to keep the news to ourselves while decisions were made regarding potential transfers and we have done so.  But our time here now is short and I can’t spend another moment guarding such a secret (too many times already I have nearly slipped – I am not good with hiding).

I know that this is a huge shift for us and that for some people that thought is nerve-wracking.  We always worry for the people we love when they make big decisions, because sometimes big, risky decisions become the biggest mistakes.  But please know that Colin and I never do anything without great amounts of consideration and we are committed to this choice with all that we have.  For us, for our son, for our future, we believe this is the path we are meant to take.

Honestly, it reminds me of the moment I looked at Colin and said “I want to have a baby.  As in, let’s try to get pregnant – NOW.”  And within a month, after doing our typical consideration and due diligence, we were staring at two lines on a tiny plastic strip and giggling like lunatics – and Grady now is, quite frankly, everything to us.  But there was something in that first moment, a peace in the choice, that took away all the fear I had previously felt when we considered having children.  And I feel that same way now – peace, and excitement, and no hesitation; knowing that my city-raised husband is right there with me just increases that sense of “Yes.  THIS is it.”

So over the next six weeks, we are packing up our lives and preparing to step out on a (sturdy) limb to somewhere different and exciting and new.  There is so much that we will miss about Oklahoma City, but the trip down the turnpike is an easy one and I feel certain we will make it fairly often for family, and friends (and let’s be honest, food) that we are having to leave here.  In a lot of ways, I think that our time in OKC saved us from some of the darkest times our marriage has had to endure - and the strength that we found here together is what will carry us forward into this new adventure. 

And I can't wait to see what happens.