What They Don't Tell You

I've decided I'm going to lay bare some of the many secrets I am discovering about being pregnant in just the short 11 weeks that I've actually been pregnant. There are so many things that they just don't tell you and I'm going to spill the secrets right here.


'Morning Sickness' - By now, we all know that morning sickness is not relegated to mornings and can happen at any time of day. But take everything you know about throwing up from previous experiences and toss it out the window. Because when you're pregnant, it'll be the first time in your life where you finish a nice restaurant meal, go straight to that same restaurant's bathroom and toss your $20 straight into the toilet and instead of being annoyed you just rinse your mouth and go about your day. It'll also be the first time you come straight out of the bathroom at home, work, or a restaurant from losing your lunch and sit straight down to dinner without a pause (although I would recommend brushing your teeth).

The Belly Rest - So we've all seen them - the pregnant women with their hands draped across their bulging bellies or rubbing the edges. I never really contemplated it before - why they might actually be doing that. But now I know. There are really two purposes for such movements:

1) When you're at the stage about where I am right now and you've got the little belly bulge, you don't so much look like you're pregnant as that you've been overdoing it at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Thus, the belly rest. If you rest your hand on the top of that little bulge (which gets larger if you just filled your belly with lunch) then it says 'There's a baby in there - not a double cheeseburger and extra fries!'

2) One of the weirdest aspects of pregnancy (at least to me) is that your body does all sorts of strange things seemingly without explanation. Right now, for me, this includes strange, sporadic, unpredictable little pains in the edges of my belly - I'm assuming because Baby is making room to expand his/her one-room studio into something bigger. So sometimes I'm rubbing around the edges of my belly because I'm thinking 'Ow! Hey - watch it in there!'

Maternity Clothes - I think that maternity clothes are probably some of the best kept pregnancy secrets. I think it's ridiculous that these inventions are just for pregnancy. They'd be so handy for those times where you're transitional between two sizes! For example - the belly band. This ingenious little device allows you to wear pants that are too small by holding them up if you can't quite close them. But it also allows you to still wear pants that are too big by squeezing them together at the top. Who couldn't use one of those just on a regular I-lost-a-few-pounds type month? I could've totally rocked one of these things last year when I was transitioning down from the bigger sizes but didn't want to buy a whole new wardrobe.

The other aspect of maternity clothes that I think is a hidden secret? Maternity pants are the most COMFORTABLE THINGS EVER. I have no idea how I'm going to go back to my regular jeans when these jeans feel like pajama pants.

Eating - It's a common misconception that the greatest thing about pregnancy (at least to someone like me who loves to eat) is that you'll get to eat whatever the heck you want. Well... not so much. There's all sorts of restrictions (even right down to what types of CHEESE!) and top that off with the fact that you're sick all the time so you're really only eating whatever sounds least-likely-to-make-a-reappearance. For me, at least, this (and the gluten-free diet, which is mostly for baby) has probably actually been good because it's kept me from just going off the deep end weight-gain wise. I'm still trying to figure out the monitored-weight-gain concept - it goes against everything I've ever tried to do - but so far I seem to be doing okay. I'm right on target so far so hopefully it stays that way!

Exhaustion - Most parents, when they find out you're pregnant, will start telling you to 'sleep now!' and 'Enjoy sleeping while you can!' These tips either come from men or from women who didn't have sleep issues while pregnant (they are about as obnoxious as the ones who never puked - uuurrrggghhh those women get me right now). That is because the general pregnant population does not get good sleep. At all. I have not gotten a good night's sleep since probably week 6 or 7 when the pee-every-hour-on-the-hour symptom kicked in. But now even beyond that I find that sleeping is pretty awkward. I'm supposed to sleep on my side, which I generally do anyway, but my shoulders feel weird and my hips sit funny and so I've taken to wrapping myself around a body pillow like a baby koala wraps around its mama swinging through the trees. And I hear it only gets worse. Oh joy.


Well I could go on and I imagine that as the weeks go by, I'll discover ever more things that aren't like you expect or that I never heard anything about because my parents were worried if they told me I'd never give them grandbabies. Already I've told Colin we have to cease-and-desist all conversations about a Baby #2. There will need to be some forgetting before there is a Baby #2.

Or, you know, I always wanted to adopt one. So we might do that. Yea. Right now, that sounds good.

Coming Back

I'm so embarassed. It's been OVER a month. Ugh - I apologize. What a terrible blogger I've been. But I have a reason. No, no - not an excuse. A real, honest-to-goodness reason.

And instead of telling you about it, I'm going to show you:

I know - crazy right? Colin and I are going to be parents.

So you see, I've been absent because I've been, well - there's no delicate way to say this - sick as all get out. And I wasn't ready to spill the baby beans on the internet. I've tried multiple times over the past month to post but... I couldn't seem to keep Baby out of my writing! So I finally just decided to wait.

It's been pretty nerve-wracking really. I'm an anxious worrier by nature and the only thing I knew about my pregnancy really so far was that it makes spending money on good food seem like a complete waste. But last Friday we were able to put our eyes on Baby (via the magic of ultrasound technology) and when I heard the strong sound of Baby's heartbeat fill that little imaging room... my heart soared.

Baby's doing alright.

We're pretty much ridiculously excited. We've been talking all about what we'll be like (and don't want to be like) as parents and I've already filled an entire shelf in the office with good first-books for Baby (girl or boy, Colin wants a little athlete - but I want a reader!). But, regardless of who Baby turns out to be, we are both agreed on one thing - Baby is the new focus of our family.

So now that the news is out - I'll do my best to be back on the blog. And I'll try to keep the baby-blogging to a not-quite-all-consuming level, but I trust you'll forgive me if, at times, I fail.