A generation in pursuit of YES.

I was recently encouraged to blog about this subject but hesitated.  I hate jumping into subjects that seem to encourage angry negativity and this could be one of them.  But… well, here it goes.

There’s a lot of complaining that goes on in the business world these days about what’s being called the millennial generation.  Words like entitled, demanding and the oh-so-popular ‘lack of commitment’ are consistently used to label our latest round of recruits – at my own firm and elsewhere.  Sometimes it feels a little bit like there’s a generational tug-of-war going on and the typical responses of upper management are starting to turn the term ‘professional’ into a bad word.

Now I myself am, apparently, in this generation and to be quite honest – I’m pretty darn proud of that.  I’ve often heard others…. with more experience than myself (let’s just say it that way shall we?) use phrases like “Life’s not perfect” or “Not everyone loves their job” or “You don’t have to love work – that’s why it’s called work.”  But my generation is rising up and in response to all of those things we have one, seemingly simple, response.

Why the heck not?

Why should we just accept the idea that life isn’t perfect?  Why doesn’t everyone love their job?  Why does work have to be… well, work?  You hear all the time about people who do what they love and love what they do.  Why is it that I can’t strive to be one of them?

Now I’m not so naïve has to think that my life will be perfect every second of every day or that I’ll just absolutely love every assignment I nab at work (I am married after all – I no longer believe in fairy tales).  That’s not even what I’m asking for.  But why should we just give up on the possibility that work overall could be truly fulfilling, and instead shrug our shoulders, and live only for retirement?

Not to be snarky but if I’m LUCKY retirement will make up about 25% (MAYBE) of my life as a whole.  Why in the hades would I want to put off general professional happiness for the other 75%?

This conflict comes out in a lot of ways but mostly it’s in that nebulous ‘work/life balance’ we so often hear about.  You’ve got executives putting in 12 or 14 hour days not just 5 days a week but 7, not just during a busy season but all year.  And then here come along my happy-go-lucky peers who want to put in their 40 and then spend their evenings and weekends playing in a band, making indie films or growing organic vegetables.  These two groups can’t coexist in a professional setting because they both want to convert the other to their version of balance.

And of course, here’s where my opinion inevitably comes out.  I was raised by two of the most hard-working people I’ve ever known.  They taught me the value in commitment to my career, in exceeding expectations, in approaching my tasks with intensity.  But they also taught me to love, to laugh, to live.  And when those two lessons are in conflict – it’s the second that wins out.

And I’m okay with that.

You see, over the past several years people around me have lost people close to them.  I have been spared the direct experience but I have watched it, over and over again.  And each time one idea is impressed even further on my heart.  Death, in one way, is very final.  Regardless of what you believe about what happens next – in the terms of this particular life – it’s final.  Over.  Done.  And each time I find myself asking about how I would feel if it were me.  If my life were over and done right now, today, what would I think?  What would I feel?

I can tell you what it wouldn’t be.  “Wow I wish I’d put in more time at work.”

And I don’t think that it would be that for anyone.  So then all that I, and I believe my generation, is asking is – why live like it would be?  Why live like we have all the time in the world and overworking ourselves is worth the time we trade? 

Why not live as if today is your last day and if you came to the end of it you would breathe a deep sigh of satisfaction and feel only “YES”…

I believe that there is a place for work in a life like that.  And I believe that life, ideal though it may be, is worth pursuing. 

think think think

This past month or so that I’ve been back to work full time has been… a learning experience.  It feels like so much gets crammed into every week and weekend between work and home and Grady and Colin being smack in the middle of his crazy season that it feels as if time is flying by.  And at the same time crawling miserably slow.  Will the end of full-time ever get here?  Can I make it?

I know I can but forgive the dramatics.  It’s been tough.  Being full-time while Colin is working ridiculous hours has turned into a perfect storm that has left our family a little off-kilter lately.  Colin and I are really reclusive homebodies at heart that feel most grounded when we have ample time together as a family and also time alone as individuals.  Neither of which has been available recently.

We’re making it through but this period in our lives has certainly challenged us to consider what our lives are like now, what we want them to be like and how we accomplish that.  We’ve been doing a pretty good job over the past few years of checking off the short-term goals we had established but now we need to look further.  What does the future look like and how do we get there?

I love times like these for us.  Colin and I are pretty good at entertaining together what might start out as crazy ideas that then follow one of two paths.  They either get chunked in the ‘that is just ludicrous’ bin or we revisit them.  And revisit them.  And revisit them.  Over and over until all of a sudden we realize we’re no longer talking about hypotheticals and silly fantasies – we’re talking plans and commitments.

I like that about us.  We’re planners.  Always thinking.  Overanalyzing.  But when you put us together and give us enough time to make a dream seem like a possibility, we then start talking not about the what but about the how.  And the why.  And then the… why not?

I know it’s a dreadful tease because I’m not going to tell you what it is yet that we might be planning.  It’s too early yet to say if it’s going to come off or not or if we’ll scrap it for something else.  But I do know that change is coming for our little family.  It has to.  This crazy, over-the-top, never-together life we’re in right now just isn’t us.  It feels like an old outfit that I’ve pulled out of the back of the closet to try to weasel back into and it still doesn’t fit quite right.  We’ve been turning it over, this way and that, trying to decide if it’s just the angle we’re looking at but I don’t think it is.  You can’t dress this up and make it better than it is. 

You have to either accept it or choose to change it.  And I think we’re going to change it.  At least, I hope so.