Odds & Ends

I know I've been gone for a while and I apologize because I'm sure you were hoping for something special when I got back but all I really have to share is miscellaneous happenings and thoughts from the past few weeks.

First off, a decision is made.

After much hunting and extensive research (very characteristic of the way I approach just about anything), Colin and I finally found a beautiful place to stay on our trip to Seattle later this month. We went back and forth between fancy splurging and bare-bones practicality, between local flavor and piling up Hilton rewards points. I finally won the argument against a chain by telling Colin I was absolutely set on staying in the Capitol Hill neighborhood (where there aren't any Hiltons, conveniently enough). Then I sealed the deal by showing him this picture of my first choice, a lovely bed and breakfast in a gorgeous, fully-restored Craftsman - the Gaslight Inn.

We are getting more and more excited about our trip - our first true vacation just the two of us since our honeymoon four years ago. I have uncovered all sorts of exciting things for us to do as well as rich, quiet places to spend lazy afternoons and warm restaurants in which to spend late evenings. (I decided I find it very fitting that someone like me, a self-declared "eater", should travel to a city with the word EAT in its name.) It will be a welcome respite for us after these hectic months of Colin going back to school and my long hours at work.

And another decision, made by someone else.

I also found out this week that, much to my surprise, the partners at work decided to promote me to manager as of January 1. I was surprised because I had previously been told I would not be eligible this year because they want five years experience and I only have four and a half. I'm excited, though somewhat intimated, by the challenge. I've been trying to tell myself that such feelings are natural - I find I do my best work when I have a healthy respect for the potential difficulties of the task at hand.

A somewhat-unexpected response to the news.

The day after I was informed of the promotion, the partners informed the rest of the department. The evening in between Colin took me to the mall - I wanted a nice shirt or sweater to wear to the announcement. Somehow, the fun search for a simple shirt ended with me in a dressing room at Ann Taylor, beset by two women bringing me all manner of suits, dress shoes and trendy, high-belted satin shirts. Colin came around the corner of the dressing room to find me, all dressed up in $400 worth of fanciness, in a state of utter panic.

"Can we please leave now?!?"

In that moment I was completely overwhelmed by what this new position might mean. Did it really mean I needed fancy, high-heeled shoes and suits? Did I need to change my approach to work and appearance and life? I'm a casual person by nature, flat shoes, comfy sweaters, no makeup and no hair 'style'. And I like that part of me. I always do my best to look professional but within those very specific guidelines - professional, and yet comfortable. Something about seeing myself in the mirror all dolled up in business professional dress made me worry that this might not be such a positive change after all.

We left the mall and immediately drove to Target where I bought a $7 shirt, $17 shoes and a $10 purse, all of which looked like me and worked perfectly for the big luncheon and all the shaking of hands and excited chatter that followed it.

The dressing room experience helped remind me - it's all what I make of the change that matters. In the end, I have to take this new position and make it my own and do it in my own way. I will continue to be professional in appearance, in my own comfortable way. Who I am got me promoted - so hopefully that same person can help me succeed once it happens.

In reward, a long-awaited treat, and a slight rebellion of sorts.

I'm not sure if it was entirely driven by the promotion and the dressing room episode but I finally made up my mind to do something I've long contemplated. Colin was so glad that "after five years of talking about it" I finally found a local place with a good reputation and high standards, and we went yesterday.

It is, after all, very small and I would imagine that 99% of the people who meet me will not have any idea it is even there. But I love it and it speaks to me because it signifies a return to myself and of honoring who I am, work position notwithstanding. I battle sometimes between who I am during the week and who I am in my head and this was a nice way of making sure both are getting equal representation.

Beyond that, the continuation of just a simple life.

Not much else is new. Colin's late classes and my overtime have kept us busy and we get home, collapse on the couch and talk in hushed voices about wayward staffers and forgetful professors while our house slowly gets messier and our four-legged babies beg for attention. My running has taken a back seat to other duties and I must now renew my efforts at a more determined pace in order to ready myself for the marathon relay. I have also been doing a terrible job at cooking new recipes and I've realized this weekend that I should be using Colin's late classes as the chance it is to try out recipes I know he would refuse to eat.

There's always something to work on.