Signs of Age

Contrary to potential first impressions, this post is not going to be about finding a wrinkle or a gray hair. It's not about physical aging at all, in fact. It's about a marriage.

Twice now in as many weeks, Colin and I have been asked by complete strangers with dry smirks on their faces 'How long have you two been married?' In the course of both conversations, I have later discovered I am talking to someone who is newly married and they have recognized in our interaction the signs of that patina which comes with putting a few years between yourselves and your wedding day.

I was pondering this morning what it is in our demeanor that presents itself as evidence of our marriage being past its infancy stage. After almost four years now of loving and supporting, hurting and annoying each other, I am guessing it has something to do with the easy, sarcastic, nitpick-in-good-spirits way we speak to each other, which we have inherited from both sets of our parents. The way that we correct each other with knowing smiles or prod each other over long-standing idiosyncracies (as in yesterday when Colin asked the banker 'if we were to ever move - what would we have to do to switch our accounts?' and I poked him in the ribs and said 'watch the OCD over-planning there, bub. Where the heck are we moving to?') Or perhaps the way in which we play off of each other now in official conversations whereas before we would pre-determine who would take lead so as not to step all over each other.

After spending some time yesterday with our nephews (random interjection: Little Lucas has given me a nickname, he can't say Aunt Mandy so instead I am Ah-Mah - ADORABLE), I have decided that our marriage properly reflects our almost-four-year age. We walk and talk with some confidence but we're still relatively clumsy if we get going too quickly and can hurt ourselves easily if we aren't paying attention. We've learned that fire burns and has many forms and we've gained a rudimentary understanding of how to bandage ourselves back up. We also instinctively know that we have a long way to go and we're waiting impatiently for our turn to do big-kid things like go to school and ride the school bus.

It's interesting to see ourselves through the eyes of people we just happen to run into. People who see us for a few moments and yet can identify something about us that perhaps we didn't even realize. We're growing - growing older and growing into our (let's face it, still relatively new) roles as husband and wife. And with a wink, a nudge and a well-placed, kindly, criticism, we're showing our age.